Ethan's Diary-a!

I saw a baby coming out of a vagina. On screen. Three times. I am scarred for life. I hope my wife doesn't want me to look. Cause hey....gross. I still think you're neat though.

I'm just going to jump right into this and act like it hasn't been three months since my last post...not like anyone reads this anyway...

So, I had this incredibly weird dream last night...I was at my church, but it looked really weird and I was dressed in a marine officer's uniform. Apparently I was dressed up because they were recognizing people who were graduating from college. But, someone neglected to tell them that I had graduated and I was not going to be recognized and I was wearing the uniform because I was going into the marines. And everyone kept asking me who was going into the marines and I would look at them, really puzzled, and say, "Um, me..." (I find it funny that I was wearing the uniform and I wasn't even in the military yet. Theeeeeen, I ran into Will Ferrell at my church! What?! For some reason I wasn't a babbling idiot, but I did tell him that I was a big fan. Then, he asked me if I wanted to co-star and help write his new movie about "The Great White North" (not about the sctv sketch with the same name). So, then after obviously accepting his offer, we headed up to Canada to do some research. But, for some reason I had long blond hair and sideburns...I looked like Tom Jane...anywho, we were all just goofing around in this little house we were living in up there when our incredibly hot blond neighbor came over to welcome us. (Sidenote: I don't know who this girl is, but I had a weird dream a couple of nights ago and it was about her...) So, for some reason this girl took a liking toward me and we went up to my room and started making out...haha. Then Rob showed up and cock-blocked me and made me run some errands for him. Then I couldn't seem to do anything he wanted. And just as I got back to the girl, I woke up.

Weeeeird...

I also had a dream when I went back to sleep for a few minutes that I asked out a girl who will remain nameless. If you care, I just might be inclined to tell you....

So, I'm popping 2007's journal cherry with this post...so that's hot...

This morning I had a meeting with the other members of Red Herring to discuss the upcoming recording sessions we shall partake in while in Chi-town over spring break. Oh yes, I can't wait. And I bet you can't either. Oh yeah, you're not reading this....oh well.

Anywho, we met at Beaner's and of course, I had to get a coffee because I am addicted. So, I order a small mocha mocha and give the lady (we'll call her Bitchy McJerkleton) my Beaner's gift certificate. The following occurred:

"You've got 14 cents." (I assume this means that I have 14 cents left on the card...)

"Keep the card."

"No, you owe 14 cents."

"What?!" (We're about to fight over 14 cents) "I don't have 14 cents."

"Well..."

"Seriously?! I guess I'll put it on my debit card..." (Which is currently overdrawn...)

"We can't do it for anything less than a dollar." (BITCH!)

"What the fuck am I going to get?"

(Stares at me with bitchy disgust)

(I'm thinking, I'm not going to buy another fucking coffee or a stupid biscotti)

"Um...I guess I'll take that chocolate cookie..." (which was 2 dollars!)

So, she rung it up and I was seething. What a whore. And she looked all smug after the transaction. What happened to the leave a penny, take a penny jar? Couldn't they spare 14 cents from there?! How about from that stupid tip jar they have? It's not like they deserve a tip for making my coffee anyway (or for any other reason, for that matter)...especially when it took them 10 minutes. If that whore were a dinosaur, she'd be a "lickalotopuss." For sure.

Um, I have no other stories to tell.

Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of...

The Boring Life I Lead.

I was going to take a nap, but some douche bags figured it was a great time to start trim our bushes. So, I shall update this bad boy instead.

Let's talk about the interesting week I've had so far...

On Monday I went to class and work --same shit, different day. Although, the fecal part came true at work. When I got to work, I came to find that I would be working by myself for eight hours (which isn't too bad considering I worked alone in the booth....but I have movies and books to entertain me). Anywho, I was assigned to clean the pit toilets (outhouses) or "shit toilets" as I so endearingly refer to them. My tools? Two buckets of water, NABC cleaner, a sponge, a wire scraper and courage. It was going along just fine (well, as fine as it can be when you have to scrub down a pit toilet) until I got to the one at Trailhead. For those of you not in the know or up on state park lingo, that's the place where all the bikers hang out. There was shit caked all over both toilets and on the floors. I almost threw up. I had a some dry heaves. Grossest thing ever. And the stench was so vile because all those bastards eat are energy bars and protein shakes and the excrement that ensues is up there with one of the sickest sights ever. So that was fun. So I ended up cleaning about ten pit toilets or so around the park. Oh, I listened to the radio in the park truck and my ipod the whole time so that helped keep my complacent. Then, I was sent to find the "missing" trash barrels at one of the pavilions...however, the person searching for said lost trash bins must not have thought of the obvious location -- inside the shelter. Idiots. So that made me laugh. It's a shame no one was there to share it with me. C'est la vie. Then, I hopped over to the boat launches to pick up ground litter, remove trash and clean the pit toilets. Sounds equally disgusting, but they're all about 10 minutes away from the park and I happened to find a Coffee Beanery on my way to the one at Woodland Lake. Oh Extreme Peach Smoothie... Then I came home and watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles. So at least my day ended on a good note.

Then Tuesday, I went to class...we watched a movie...very nice and then I went to work. I had to clean grills in the park with Clint and we got to use the Gator, which is sweet because it takes 20 minutes to get to the back of the park in that thing. Love it! So that was fun and easy. However, we'd never worked together before and the gator is loud as hell so there was a minimal amount of conversation, but that quickly changed because as you well know, I can talk a lot. We had to dump the ashes in the desolate recesses of the park, which is always fun because you're off-roading and you get to do donuts in a park vehicle without gettting yelled at. So that took forever and I loved every minute of it. Then we checked and cleaned all the bathrooms in the park and we got to leave early because we didn't take a lunch. B-E-A-U-tiful! Then I saw Clerks 2! That movie was amazing. Kevin Smith, you sir have outdone yourself once again. I don't know what else to say. I want to talk about all the funny stuff but I don't want to spoil anything. So, for now though...courage.

Julie just called me! Yay! I haven't seen her all summer! Or let alone talked to her in about a month. It was so good to talk to her. I miss her like crazy. *Tear* She's my special girl!

I've had pretty crazy dreams lately too...but I won't scare you with details of them. If I've sparked your interest...feel free to implore....

Ethan Out!

10 reasons why today sucked ass (in no particular order):

1. I didn't finish my class work today because I had to go to work
2. While running to my car after class, my sandal broke and I had to run halfway across campus with one sandal
3. I had to drive like a bat out of hell to just make it in time for work
4. Someone backed into the front of my car and my grill is cracked
5. I don't have all of the 15 pages of homework done for wednesday and I probably won't
6. I can barely remember any french
7. I didn't get a chance to call Lauryn
8. There's no air conditioning in this house
9. I cleaned grills all day and it did a number on my allergies
10. I'm updating this instead of doing my homework!!

Am I that guy? Seriously? Is that what I've become? Or was this a long time coming? It makes me regret coming home. I miss people too. I love that I chose to finally update again with this. Rock on!

I had a couple weird dreams over the weekend. But one really stuck in my mind. I was kidnapped by the head of the theatre department (not the real one though) and he took me to some New York harbor in his white Caddy. Then, he took me out and knelt me on the ground because he was going to kill me and dump me in the water. Pretty sweet, eh? So, somehow I manage to escape and while I'm running away at a very low pace. Why does that always happen in dreams? You can't run fast at all. Bad news bears. So, I'm running across the Brooklyn bridge and I ran into Matt Karr....ha, of all people. And we ran away together. Good times.

Apparently Katie Canavan had a dream that I proposed to her....and she said yes! Amazing! We're going to get married! ...in her dreams! Ha, sorry Katie, that just sounded funny.

Our cds are done! Wooooo hooooo! They sound amazing too. Everyone should come out to our cd release party on Saturday. You know you want to. It'll be a blastee. I'll even sign a copy of our cd if you buy one. And maybe your boobs, if you're nice. I mean, who knows? We'll just get stinko and make some bad decisions...

Today is a special day. Because on this day, 24 years ago, my awesome sister Alicia was born. I love you See-sha! Hope you're having an amazing birthday.

Oh! In response to Jillian's request, the beverage that epitomizes my life is any sort of orange soda. I loves it. That or Labatt. I mean, who doesn't love a good Canadian brew? Those dern Canucks...

I realized that sudoku is ruining my life. I can't get any work done because all I ever do now is that. This is bullshit!

Talent. It was amazing. I laughed so much. I was obnoxious. But it was so funny! Casey said she heard me laughing over everyone else. Yes, I laugh loudly. I know this. I'm ok with that.

So, girls huh? Haha, right. Color me confused as hell. I'm in the purgatory of knowing what's going on because I'm not really kind of "in the know" or even "unaware," I'm floating in the oblivion between the two. Yeah...

AHHHH! Why do I have to get so serious when I write in here? Depressing as shit.

Sorry that I don't have anything interesting to say. I'll take requests. Feel free to drop me a line or a comment.

I haven't written here in so long that I don't even know where to start....

Well, Much Ado is finally over. I don't mean that in a celebratory way (although, it's nice to have free time) because I loved doing it. I do miss all of the people that were involved in it. It was probably one of the best casts ever. Period. Bar none. For sho. And it was an amazing thing to be apart of. Even if a few of the reviews were less than pleasant about our performances. But if you know anything about me and critics, I say fuck them. Fuck them in their loafer-wearing asses. Although, the review in the Lansing State Journal was nice. They actaully said something about me too! I couldn't believe me. I never get mentioned - not when we get adjudicated (which we didn't) or when some writes up a review - but not this time! They said I created a darkly villainous Don John. I don't care if that sounds conceeded, that made my day. Maybe I did pick the right major? Oh, and thanks to everyone who came out. I am forever in your debt. I love you.

Don't even get me started on the cast parties...they were out of control. I didn't get to bed until about 5 or 6 every time. Crazy theatre kids and their crazy....VD.... Actually, I should talk about the first 80's party that I went to. First of all, the invite said "80's Slumber Party," so I thought, it's an 80's themed party, so dress up, right? Wrong. Jeff and I went in a track suit and Miami Vice attire and we had this elaborate entrance where we pretended to be doing coke and continuously roll up our sleeves. But apparently we were the only ones who dressed up. Oh well, it was funny anyway. Then Jeff and I played 5 straight games of Beer Pong and won every single one...because we are the shit. I've never been so good. It was amazing. Then we had a little dance party and everyone kept asking us if we got together to practice our dance moves...but if you know us at all, you know it just happens like that because we've known each other for so long. Then we went up to the confessional room a la the Real World and Jeff and I did ours in character. That is until Caitlyn walked in topless (she had a bra on) and proceeded to sit on my lap. Jeff left because he thought something was going to happen. But apparently the video is hilarious because I look super uncomfortable. I was also super drunk. Then Jeff and I had the best/worst karaoke jam ever. Theeeen came Truth or Dare. Wow. They dared me to run across the street in my underwear and put something in the mailbox. That's not a challenge. Especially when I'm drunk. Then I dared Caitlyn to make out with me. So that was nice. Ha. Then we all "went to bed" while watching Girls Just Want To Have Fun. But really we just talked forever and gave each other backrubs. Good times. Good parties...

My female happenings have been really fucked up this past week. That's all I'm going to say about that...

What else happened? Oh yeah! Stike was sooooo easy. And it was actually fun. Whodathunkit? Then afterward, we all went out to eat at the Chinese Buffet next to Country Market. Mmmmm. I haven't had Chinese in soo long and it hit the spot. Loooooved it.

Oh! My band went into the studio to re-record Open House because the original recording was kind of funky in the way we recorded it. So we busted it out and it was amazing. Except we cut off a line of that outro for some reason.... Then after that, Ben started mixing the cd with D, the engineer there. It sounds so good. It's hard to believe that I played some of that stuff. The sound quality of the drums are amazing. Can't wait for the cd. Keep your eyes and ears open for when we're going to have the album release party. It's sure to be a blast. And we're playing at the Wonders' Kiva this Thursday at 9 or maybe before. So everyone should come check it out.

Some people just got arrested outside our house. I think it was either for drunk driving or for drugs. It was kind of shady. But kind of sweet. I wish I had a video camera to tape it. Erik and I were staring out my window laughing at them.

I had the funniest encounter with Frank today. After my appointment with Rob I ran into him and he was staring at me (like Frank is usually inclined to do). I said hello and he just kept staring. Then he asked what I was doing there. And I said that I had an appointment and that I was going to his class in a few minutes. He stared at me a little more and said, "I just saw you at the admin building." And I was thinking "What the hell is he talking about?" I told him that I wasn't over there and he asked if I had a twin. I told him no, but he wouldn't believe and thought for sure that I must have a twin. Then he said that he almost said hi to "me" but didn't. It would have been so funny if he had. Oh Frank. How I love thee...

I saw Ben Folds yesterday! He was amazing! Made me wet my pants. One of the best concerts I've ever been to. That man knows how to put on a show. He even played Bitches Ain't Shit. I love that song. He even had the guy from Big Daddy Taxi that was driving him all over town come out and play harmonic with him. It was awesome. Every songs was perfect. And he played Not The Same...I love that song. They also had a sweet jam session. Even a badass drum solo. Then he told us about this guy at Meijer that wouldn't let him take pictures there. It was hilarious. Kept talking about how much of an asshole he was. And if I've learned anything from that concert, it's that spooning leads to forking. So think about that. Take it home. Chew it. It's delicious... I want to see him again. Right now!

Well, that was the longest entry ever. Enjoy kids! Take it easy. We'll be talking really soon...

I'd like to start off this entry by saying that I have been apparently sitting at my computer for about 25 minutes with only one button of my shirt buttoned up...without a shirt on underneath...and I didn't notice. Obviously dinking around on the computer is more important than dressing myself. Amazing.

So, YPF is now over. I won't have to gel my hair and make it look like I have a comb-over. That was hilarious. Too much fun. During the high school question and answer section after the show today, some kid asked me how I got into my character. That was great. Because once I had the suit on and my hair slicked down and over my head, I was a dirty, dirty man. It was funny. I kept asking Monica out to eat at Popeye's for some "chicken and biscuits...eh? eh?" Weird. Met some cool people there too. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm never going to see most of them again. Like Jordan. Or Zack. Or Stephanie. Or your Mom. Which brings me to my next point...actually, it doesn't. I'm dumb.

I'd like to say that I just realized that I still haven't done anything about the shirt situation. Wow....

Holy crap, this weekend was awesome. Aside from the fact that MSU can place their lips upon my posterior. But we won't talk about that. Anywho, after that one game where some team lost, my roomies and I had an impromptu party. Which was great. I had a quite a few beers and a few shots. Very nice. Talked with the lovely Mia for the majority of the evening. Then we watched the end of Nightmare on Elm Street and the beginning of An American Werewolf in London...haha. While viewing this awesome picture, we all decided that we needed to end the night with some pancakes and whatnot. I suggested IHOP for those Cinnamon Stacker things they've been advertising like crazy...but alas, we ended up at Denny's. Which was still yummy. We walked there too. That was kind of sucky. But other than that, splendiferous. Then after Syd dropped us off (mucho gusto) I headed to another party down the street. Where I proceeded to drink more and cut a rug out on the dance floor. Jared and I also admired a poster of Marilyn Monroe for about 20 minutes and then discussed the strange goings-on between our characters in Much Ado. Then I slept forever. Loved it!

Saturday rolled around and I had rehearsal for Much Ado, and that was ok. But then I had to go over to the Wharton Center to rehearse for YPF. That wasn't bad either, but we were there too long. For shizzle. Then Vinnie, J.D. and myself decided to have a night on the town. We hit up Menna's. Damn, I love those C.T. Dubs. Mmmmmmmmm. After spending entirely too much time there talking about everything and making fun of almost everyone that passed by outside, we made our way over to Stoddard for a party with Sean Corey. Upon arrival, we didn't want to go in because it seemed shady to walk into this "birthday party" that was going on. And I actually said that out loud and this guy that was having a cigarette outside moved right infront of the door like he was going to block us from going in. Strange. So I called Sean to ask him to let us in. And then things were all good. We then quickly got down to drinking. After a few beers, we started talking about random shit. Like you dooooo.... then Vinnie turned to me and said, "Anyone that has sex with peanut butter is fucking nuts." I almost died laughing. Then Sean, without missing a beat yells, "Do you know who invented peanut butter?" And I say, "George Washington Carver." Then we pound fists and for some reason, after we do this, we waggle our fingers and make this weird sound - "blalalala!" (This doesn't do it justice.) Then we keep saying "George Washington Carver" after everything we say and doing the weird gesture. This then transforms throughout the evening as we injest more alcohol and it soon turns into "G.W.C.!" and then Sean says "J.W.C." And I say, "It's G.W.C." But I quickly say, "Maybe he's spanish and his name is Jorge." Then Vinnie says that it's true because he knows of a government cover-up that prevented the world from knowing a spaniard invented peanut butter. Wow. I know that's what you're thinking. To me, this is hilarious. But it's probably dumb to everyone else....like most inside jokes.

Theeeeeeeen Sunday rolls around and it's time to perform for YPF. It went really well. The adjudicator was a tool, but it was good. My parents came out to see it. They liked my creepy Satan. So that was good. Then they took me out to eat at Johnny Rockets. I love that place. Good burgers. Good shakes. Good fries. Quasi-good, half-hearted dancing to "Stayin' Alive." Oh yeah. It was good to see them. Then Ben took me to see "V for Vendetta" which was amazing. Wow. It was sooooo good. I was thinking it was going to be good. But I wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was. Hugo Weaving was the shit. Spectacular. And of course Natalie Portman was amazing. She's such a great actress. And very attractive. Ok, radiantly hot. And she even pulled off the whole bald thing. I think she's the only woman that can look hot and be bald. That's right. I said it. Deal with it.

And now here I am. My shirt is almost buttoned all the way. I'm a wreck. What's wrong with me? Many things. Well, hopefully my razor is charged and I can shave away my Jesus look. (Someone called me Jesus on Friday. Wow, that was funny.) Anywho. I love you. Yeah you.